Hello to all of you in the blogosphere,
As you can tell this is my first posting and I don't really do things like this often. Except when I tumble my feelings, things get real on my Tumblr feed after a hard day. What I mean by not doing this often is, express what I am thinking, feeling and living on the Internet to complete strangers. Well some of you may not be complete strangers, and eventually if you keep reading hopefully we can become good friends. All of my best friends and closest confidants started as complete strangers. Anyways, as you can probably see my grammar is very deficient, so I am apologizing now to those of you who feel the need to read pieces that are proofread and generally follow rules of rhetoric. I'll try but my life isn't proofread so my thoughts on a page probably won't be proofread very well either. I would like to say I have my life all together and I know what my future holds but I have no clue. You would think after 20 years on this earth I would have figured something out, but once I grab a hold of one concept about ten more questions pop up and the whole situation changes. Leaving me more confused than when I started, but I enjoy the challenge.
I am currently enrolled in a university and have been for the past three years. I love it here but also sometimes wish I would have taken a slightly different path. Although mine is the runt of the litter compared to my sister schools, it is the biggest place I have ever lived consistently. I grew up in a village. Like a literal village, our population is under 3,000 people and finding us on a map is next to impossible if you don't know where to look. I loved growing up in my little village more than anyone will ever know. I like the idea of a group of people, although small and somewhat diverse personality wise, doing life together and knowing each other deeply. I can't say I was best friends, or even good friends with the 22 people who I went from preschool to graduation with, but I can say I know them. I can also say that I truly care about every one of them. Maybe not their life decisions or path they're on, but when you know people that intimately you can't help to care about them. At least I can't I have heard myself described as having an extra empathy gene. I hope someday to have a husband and children who get the same experience I had growing up in a small, tightly packed group of people. I am not saying my life has been all rainbows and butterflies. It has been everything but for the most part, and I am sure you guys, my new friends and confidantes, will figure that out as you follow me on this journey of self rediscovery.
Like I said earlier, I am empathetic almost to a fault but I don't like thinking of it that way. I have a unquenchable need for affection both in the giving and receiving end and I feel/fall hard. I feel very hard for other people whether it be sorrow or elation others moods tend to take a toll on me. I also fall very hard which is a nasty habit I need to reign in, especially because the men I fall for are normally pretty emotionally unavailable when it comes to romantic relationships. With having said that I have never been in a committed grown up relationship nor have I ever been in love. I think that is alright though, for right now at least.
Here are some other random tidbits about who I am so you have a better background on what you're getting yourself into. I love anything that has to do with the UK, especially their television shows. I am a big fan of all things music and have the most eclectic music taste ranging from Cloudkicker to Taylor Swift and everything in between. I would love to learn how to play an instrument or two, something like a guitar then something totally cool like a melodica. My free time is almost nonexistent because I like to be over involved and I am normally under qualified but everything always works out. In that free time I do have I like to be doing anything that lets me be be creative things like drawing, singing, acting, nail art, dancing (not well but it's fun), writing, cooking, knitting and the list goes on. I also really love being around people, I am no where close to cool or well spoken but just learning about them and how they live is my favorite part about meeting new friends. I am a Christian and believe in Jesus he is the main reason I can get though life without totally destroying myself or others. Just because I am a christian doesn't keep me from loving or accepting anyone who has different beliefs than I do. It actually makes it easier to love everyone but it also doesn't mean I am a push over and I am afraid to admit that I love Jesus.I hope if you have different beliefs we can still be friends, because I am sure you are an awesome person. I have AD/HD which has never and will never hold me back from what I want to accomplish, but it does make life interesting when I need to focus or stay on a topic sometimes. I love animals so much, and own two cats who are my world but I would also like to have a dog one day. Puns make me extremely happy, and idioms are also pretty cool. I like words and language in general. A perfect afternoon would consist of an iced Chai tea latte, an amazing novel (probably YA, Dystopian or anything by John Green/Marissa Marissa Meyer), and a bay window I could sit in to watch the vibrant illumination of the day transition slowly into the serene glow of a night sky full of countless stars and the fullest moon I have ever laid eyes on. I could also trade the bay window for a tree if the weather was nice.
I will end this massive blog post here in fear that it is far to long. I would promise that they will be shorter next time but I only make promises I am sure I can keep. I will say, however, I am going to try to keep it shorter the next time I post. I hope you guys enjoy this journey and would love to hear some feedback if you're reading.
Until Next Time...